Kanegér

... About myself-for others

Morning Blues

Morning Blues

Non-stop pounding
Hungover head
In a hotel room
I woke up in bed
A woman, a stranger
Lied to my left
I looked her over
But I had no guess
I was in trouble
Last night was a mess
Too many drinks
& Too high did I get.

The disheveled sheets
I quietly climbed from
Waking the girl up
Was too scary an outcome
Before to the bathroom
I went, silent as a nun
Again at the girl
I glanced with a small hum
There she was lying
Her eyes were closed shut
She seemed to be breathless
Body limp, untucked.

What happened to you
Girl with no name
Who til this moment
Waits for me in vain
I wait, so that again
I could be with you
And from the dark sin
I would save you too
When I hear your voice
It drags me to deep hues
Echoes in my mind
Of the morning blues.

The call of nature
I could not ignore
I tried to think back
Did she take more
Attempting to dig
In my deserted mind
But what I was seeking
Seemed too dark to find
A haze of a memory
Somebody held down
The screaming girl
For minutes & slapped her around.

A memory flashed
That I broke her free
I beat the dude up
And we ran to safety
I heard from afar
A cracking voice say
“I”ll come for you,
You’ll regret this day!”
I ran ahead
And paid no attention
He can’t possibly know me
Or catch me as mentioned.

What happened to you
Girl with no name
Who til this moment
Waits for me in vain
I wait, so that again
I could be with you
And from the dark sin
I would save you too
When I hear your voice
It drags me to deep hues
Echoes in my mind
Of the morning blues.

I still remember
Though it is faint
We stopped and we panted
On a dark street in wait
She looked at me grateful
Her eyes full of tears
Her hand to my fly
She slid without fear
I remember at the time
I did not object
A few minutes later
From pleasure I’m wrecked.

I can’t tell you how
We ended up in bed
In this small smokey
Hotel room instead
We had lots to drink
“Snow” was falling too
Drunk in a stupor
We took turns and used
We lied on our backs
And fooled around there
Completely forgetting
The unlocked door’s stare.

What happened to you
Girl with no name
Who til this moment
Waits for me in vain
I wait, so that again
I could be with you
And from the dark sin
I would save you too
When I hear your voice
It drags me to deep hues
Echoes in my mind
Of the morning blues.

Intoxicated swimming
In the stifling air
Playing with power
In the crinkled sheets bare
We took and we used
Everything around
The wild and loud moaning
Bringing animals out
While we enjoyed
The effects of the doses
We couldn’t register
The door clicking open.

I seem to be reaching
The end of my consciousness
My final memory
Breaks through in small pieces
I think that the drugs
Must have done some damage
Hazily I could hear
The girl scream in anguish
I tried to understand
What could she see
In the dark corner
A cigar sparked dimly.

Standing wide legged
In front of the toilet
I lean up ahead
And wait for muse to hit
With my spinning head
I stare at the wall
Glued to the tile
I see something small
A note states in blood
A scribbled nightmare
The death of the girl
Is all yours to bear.

What happened to you
Girl with no name
Who til this moment
Waits for me in vain
I wait, so that again
I could be with you
And from the dark sin
I would save you too
When I hear your voice
It drags me to deep hues
Echoes in my mind
Of the morning blues.

Translated by Esther Brownwood. 2024.02.20

 

 
 

Painter: Zeller Ildikó

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